End of day two, and I’ve just been reunited with one of my life’s greatest loves – chicken! I feel so happy to rediscover it’s delicious chickeny flavour, and yet so guilty for ignoring it for so long. Oh the shame. I’m sure it will forgive me by the end of the month, when I’ve scoffed 6 months’ worth to make up for it! Here’s the day as it happened…

Meal One:
– 1 x 250g pure beef mince patty
– 1 bacon rasher
– 1 x pork sausage
– 2 x pork crackle (’cause why not?!)

– 1 40g pack of pork crackle (once I popped I couldn’t stop!)

Meal Two:
– 2 x chicken thigh fillets
– 2 x beef sausages

Carnivore Diet March Meat Madness   

Weight: 90.3kg
Body Fat: 24.4% (I’ve got one of those shitty scales that “measures” all kinds of things. Not sure I trust it, but may as well keep track of it.)
Water: At least 4-5 litres (not really counting any more ’cause I’m chuggin like I’ve never chugged before!)

Thoughts: Last night was rough. After dinner I had a headache that increased constantly in intensity. I needed to take panadol to sleep when I hit the sack at 22:30. Then again, so did my wife, so it’s hard to know if it’s from the diet, or the screaming teething child, or some undiscovered lead buried under the house. Who knows? I don’t feel like the food I’m eating digests particularly fast at all. It seems to just hang around in my stomach all day. Still had a bit of a headache when I woke up (as did my wife), and felt exhausted and foggy for the first half hour or so of the day.

Energy is reasonably good – I just went to a morning play group and had half a dozen little boys jumping all over me for two hours from 10:00 until 12:00. That was after fasting since 18:00 so I’m impressed that the carnivore thing isn’t affecting my ability to fast yet.

Probably the toughest thing I’m finding is that despite my incredibly restrictive regime, I’m still cooking three meals a day for my wife and daughter, consisting of the kinds of foods I love to eat. Lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, cheese, etc. Tonight I cooked a carbonara, and suffered through the beautiful smells of the house for the rest of the night. But, as always, it’s the mental game that is both the hardest, and the most rewarding. Resisting temptation that’s literally under your nose is a lot more satisfying that hiding from it!

A possible issue that a few people have brought up is digestion, and more specifically pooping. I can confirm that nothing at all has happened in that department yet. Not sure what to do – I’d usually just chug a heap of kimchi and load up on fibre, but that’s not an option in this case. I’m just going to go about my business, and hope that nothing explosive occurs when I’m out pushing the pram with Kora! I will keep you posted, and keep a thorough “log” book…

Peace, meat and gristly teeth to all.

** UPDATE ** Can confirm first urgent movement of milkshake-textured release. Confirming, that’s MILKshake, not THICKshake in case you were wondering. Glad I was at home. Not nearly enough volume to convince me that’s the end of the episode. But at least I know what I’m going to be dealing with now, and I can adjust my safe walking radius accordingly.